Depeche Mode: SO Wrong

I posted a link to the incredibly chilling video for Depeche Mode's "Wrong" via Twitter a few days ago. In case you missed it (or don't follow me yet), here it is again:

It's rare that a music video evokes the same kind of emotional response that a film does, but this video does it for me. I want to look away, but I can't. Great work.

Lost: The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

• The mustachioed man from last week - Cesar - is searching a Dharma office. He finds some papers that look island-y, along with a copy of Life touting "The Awesome Fireball" and a weapon. Oh look, there's the woman from last week! She says they found a man just standing in the water, wearing a suit, and he wasn't on the plane. Together, they walk past a mostly intact plane and onto a beach, where they find... Locke. An eerily calm, alive Locke, who promptly ditches Papa Shepard's shoes and stares wistfully at the ocean. Ilana, the new girl, brings him a mango. I'm thinking about calling her Not-Ana-Lucia, since that's who she looks like - but less prone to off screen shenanigans. Turns out that a wolfish pilot and "some woman" took off with a boat. Who? Locke casually tells NAL that he remembers dying. He has lost some people skills in the death-to-life transition.
  
• Back in time we go, and Locke has turned up in the Tunisian desert, just like Ben did. He is in much worse shape than Ben was... and he's being watched. There's a camera attached to a post. Locke begs for help and gets none. Night comes with a truck, into which Locke is dumped. He ends up in a hospital with that creepy Not-Oceanic-Air-Guy and passes out to find none other than Charles Widmore at his bedside. He explains how he met Locke when he was seventeen, was tricked (!) into leaving the island by Ben, and will do everything in his power to help Locke bring the Six back. Me: "Why?" Locke: "Why?" Widmore: "WHY!?!" Here's a big reveal: there's a war coming... and if Locke isn't back on the island when it happens, the wrong side will win. Dun, dun, DUHHH!!!
• So Locke becomes Bentham because Widmore gives him that name with a passport: "your parents had a sense of humor when they named you, so why can't I?"Oh, philosophy humor. I could watch these old bald men banter about trust and the island all day. "I needed Linus removed so it could be your time." As for the matter of dying... Widmore says he won't let that happ- AAAAAAGH CREEPY GUY. He's Widmore's creepy guy! That explains why he was trying to convince John to go on the walkabout! ANSWERS! Also, off the island, Locke is back to his crippled wheelchair-using self. The universe has a way of correcting itself.
  
• Locke and Creepy Guy (CG from now on) are off to gather the Six. First stop: Santo Domingo, where Sayid is building houses and hating Ben's manipulation. He will not go back, since leaving the island is what allowed him to finally be happy with Nadia. He twists the knife of Locke's loneliness before they part. Next stop: New York and WAAAAAAAAALT... but not before Locke asks CG to look up Helen. Walt says he's been having dreams of Locke on the island in a suit, surrounded by people who want to hurt him. Rut roh. Locke smiles, shakes his hand, and lets him go without mentioning the return. "Boy's been through enough." Oh look, there's Ben looking sinister! Also, Locke never identified himself as Bentham to Walt, like we were told he did. Oversight?
  
• Hurley is painting the Sphinx (on paper, not in Egypt) and thinks that Locke is dead, going so far as to ask a nurse: " am I talking to a dude in a wheelchair right now?" Turns out... he IS! This talk does not go well because of Creepy Guy's history at Hurley's hospital. As you can imagine, this causes some tension, and Locke needs to know more about his driver. He helps people get to where they need to get to (which is what he told Locke back in the day, I believe), and that's what he does for Mr. Widmore. Also, he is creepy.
  
• Kate doesn't care if anyone on the island dies, and she spouts some nonsense about how Locke wanted to stay on the island because he didn't love anybody. Locke gets sad about Helen, and Kate is mean to him. Bitch. Well, if I didn't hate her before, I hate her now.
  
• When Locke inquires about Helen's whereabouts, Creepy Guy brings him to her grave in Santa Monica. She died in 2006, and even if things had worked out between them, CG says that things would have ended up like this anyway. Locke's path brings him back to the island. They share a moment debating destiny and choice. Then HOLY SH*T SOMEONE BLASTS CREEPY GUY. I did not see that coming, and I am upset about it. Multiple car accidents and one banged-up Locke ensue. Ben totally did it.
  
• When Locke wakes up in the hospital, Mr. Bedside Manner of the Year weakly asks him what he's doing there. Hi Jack! Locke, unfortunately, launches into a rant about returning to the island that makes even me question his sanity. As he rises to leave, Locke realizes that Christian is Jack's father. He passes along Christian's fatherly greetings and explains that he's as alive as anyone. That, also, does not go well. "We were never important," Jack yells, and he tells Locke to leave everyone alone. Locke looks awfully fragile as the door shuts behind Jack.
  
• Pushed to the breaking point by his former friends, the despondent Locke writes his letter to Jack and begins the sad process of killing himself. (This scene, like much of last week, seems to arrive a little too quickly for me.) This is where the other chess master, Ben, steps in. Now we remember who the master manipulator really is. Every tense word about Widmore's treachery, Locke's failure to bring back the Six and Ben's desire to install Locke as the island's true leader is just the buildup to Locke's death. I could feel it coming but was still shocked and saddened. The mention of Eloise pushed Ben over the edge, but did the knowledge that Jin was still alive help him along? And why is Ben SO good at being bad?
  
• Aftermath. Ben goes about the business of framing Locke's suicide and slips Jin's ring into his pocket. He tells Locke he'll miss him. Somehow, despite his bug-eyed craziness... I believe him. Every villain needs a hero. Note: in all the talk about Locke's impending death, suicide was never mentioned. Was this the way it was supposed to play out all along?
  
• Back in the island office, Locke tells Cesar about Dharma and his time on the island. Doesn't he realize how cryptic and crazy he sounds to these people?!? Cesar asks if he knows why a bright flash of light took his friends off the plane before it crashed. Locke says he needs to find them to find out more, and it turns out that some of them got hurt. Namely, Ben. Hooray!
• Seriously: who's the bad guy? Ben or Widmore? Are they BOTH the bad guy?
  

Five Things To Look Forward To

I have no idea what's happened to my desire to blog this past week. Until today, it hasn't even been warm enough to blame spring fever. The likely culprit is the cuteness of the cats:

Whenever I come home, they're all like, "Mom, look at us, we're play-fighting and snuggling and being SO cute. Also, can we have snacks?" Then I turn into a distracted puddle. Wouldn't you?

So ahead of tonight's Lost recap, I present you with five things I'm excited about right now:

1. Tonight's Top Chef finale (Hootie HOO!)
2. The upcoming one-two concert punch of Avenged Sevenfold (Friday) and Jimmy Eat World (Saturday)
3. Our Watchmen premiere (next Tuesday)
4. My upcoming trip to visit three fabulous NYC ladies (next weekend)
5. Watching Bill Maher and Ann Coulter duke it out at the Chicago Theatre (3/11)

That last item is the first installment of the 2009 Speaker Series, featuring Al Gore, Arianna Huffington, Chris Matthews and more. I'd love to see them all. We shall see. At the very least, Bill and Ann should provide some fireworks and raise my blood pressure JUST enough to remind me that I'm alive.

Fun With Films

It's Oscar weekend. I remember a time - mid to late 90's, to be precise - when I loved the pageantry, dressed up for the broadcast (super nerd alert), and made carefully researched predictions. Not anymore. I don't have the schedule or energy to see all the big films; I've only seen one of the Best Picture nominees, to be honest. Wall-E's absence from the category is a SHAM and a MOCKERY. Ahem.

Last night, I watched AFI: 10 Top 10 on AMC with my guy, who has seen more movies than anyone I know. It made me nostalgic for the days when I made them more of a priority. We had fun predicting the #1 films in each category and together, were right about six of them. Want to try for yourself? Here are the categories:

Animation
Romantic Comedy
Western
Sports
Mystery
Fantasy
Sci-Fi
Gangster
Courtroom Drama
Epic

Here's the link with the answers: AFI: 10 Top 10. Have fun!

Lost: 316

• Episode starts... the way the show started, on the island, with Jack's open eye. Except that this isn't how the show started, because there's no Vincent, and Jack is holding a piece of torn paper that says "I wish." Hurley is yelling for help, and he's treading water in a lagoon while hanging onto a guitar case. Jack to the rescue! And there's waterlogged Kate! Unfortunately, she is not dead. "Are we..." "Yeah, we're back."
• 46 HOURS EARLIER! OMINOUS!
  
• Back into Eloise's parlor o'tricks, where we're about to learn what she meant by "let's get started." Down a spiral staircase and behind a caution sign, the group finds a Dharma door and a pendulum. This is the Lamp Post. Narnia! Charlotte was C.S. Lewis! Agh! "This is how they found the island," Eloise exclaims, and Ben looks just as baffled as the rest of them. For once, Jack thinks that maybe Ben's not being 100% truthful. Basically: an unnamed Dharma smartypants figured out that the island was moving and tried to use the room to find out where and when it was going using the power of math. My head hurts, but Eloise's accent is pretty. Desmond calls B.S., BROTHA. He delivers Daniel's message and tries to leave, but Eloise says that the island is not done with him. Des then blows up on her for telling him the island was his purpose and storms off. Eloise shrugs and says that their window to return closes in 36 hours. That is not 46 hours. I'm confused. A flight to Guam is their only hope, and they have to recreate the circumstances under which they landed. If they don't come close enough, the outcome will be "unpredictable." Wee! At this point, I can only think "too much talking, not enough Sawyer."
• Post-commercials, there's still no Sawyer. Bah. In her office, Eloise gives Jack "John Locke's suicide note," which has his name on it. She explains that Locke's dead body is going to act as a proxy for Christian's body: recreating the flight and all. Jack acts indignant and calls the whole thing ridiculous, as if he wasn't the bearded crazy dude taking daily flights and hoping he'd crash mere hours ago. He stalks off. Out in the church, Ben tells Sulkypants the story of Thomas the Apostle. I'd relate it, but basically it means: shut your mouth, Jack.
• Hey, a bunny! And an old guy! Jack's Granddad! He gives some homespun advice about life and love, and then just so happens to have a pair of Christian's shoes. I'm disgusted with this contrived scene and wish for it to end. Mercifully, it does. Hmm. I wish the recession was over! Didn't work? Alrighty then.
  
• Jack decides to drink away his traumatic day. Before his liver can squeal in pain, he finds Kate lying on his bed, looking broken. When Jack asks where Aaron is, Kate tells him never to ask her that question again, and then she decides it's BUSINESS TIME. I did not notice whether or not she was wearing business socks. Oh, and before Kate mounts Jack, she agrees to go back to the island. Well, can I still ask where Aaron is?
  
• The morning after, there's still no Sawyer. Jack is smiling like a dumbass in love as he putters around fixing coffee for Kate. He tells a stupid story about the stupid shoes. Thank god the phone rings and interrupts this nonsense. Ben is on the other end, and he's in bad shape. Wet and bloody. Am I legitimately concerned about his well-being? Is this the doing of Widmore's people? Turns out Jack has to go get Locke's body, which is being half-heartedly guarded by some plastic sheets and dead cows. Bang-up job, Jill. Jack wedges his dad's shoes onto Locke's feet and accuses dead Locke of being crazy. I hope that bites him in the ass. Then he sanctimoniously shoves the unread suicide note in Locke's jacket. WHERE IS SAWYER. WORST EPISODE EVER.
• Jack is talking to an Ajira agent about putting Locke's body on a plane to Guam. Jack should be LISTENING to the agent, but he's too busy smiling his dumbass smile at Kate. A fellow with a pencil-thin mustache tells Jack that he's sorry he lost his friend. He had lines? Looks like we'll be seeing YOU on the island, buddy! There's the heretofore uncooperative Sayid, being escorted like a criminal! Wow, just like Kate was! How convenient! And there's Hurley... who is READING BOOK THREE OF Y: THE LAST MAN! Ahem. Sorry, it's just that I love that series. See, look:
  
  
  
• Brian K. Vaughan, the author of Y: The Last Man, has written a handful of Lost episodes, not including this one. It's probably just a shout out, nothing to freak out about. Anyway, Hurley's not just reading. He has also bought up all the plane's available seats, presumably so innocent people don't have to die. He also has a guitar case, just like Chahlie did.
  
• Everyone gets on the plane, including the banged-up Ben: it's like a messed up in-flight reunion! Jack gets that pesky suicide note back from the flight attendant. Guess he should probably read that at some point. BUT NOT NOW! Jack: "the other people on the plane... what's going to happen to them?" "Who cares," responds Ben. That's the murderous Ben I remember. Jack then makes some "isn't it great that the band's all back together" chitchat with Kate, which is interrupted when they learn that Wolf is flying the plane! Except that he's not Wolf anymore, because his lovely beard is gone, and I suppose that means I have to call him Frank now, and that just makes this episode suck even more. Lost takes away everything I love. In summary: the universe has a way of correcting itself, Wolf was supposed to be flying Flight 815, and now he's flying Flight 316. Ta-freakin-da.
  
• Ben is reading James Joyce's Ulysses. Episode Two of Ulysses is titled "Nestor." Nestor Carbonell plays the role of Richard Alpert. OH MY GOD, LET'S FREAK OUT ABOUT THAT. Sorry, this Jack-centric episode has made me bitter. He asks, "how can you read?" Ben: "My mother taught me." Zing! Ben did not know that Locke killed himself. Right about now seems like the best time for Jack to read that bad penny of a suicide note, don't you think? "I wish you had believed me," is what it reads. The plane shakes. And now we're back to the beginning of the episode. That all happened too easily for my taste. Drowning Hurley, waterlogged Kate. As they're wondering where everyone else is, Jin shows up in a familiar-looking VW Van, wearing a Dharma suit. Since a) the van looks new, b) no one remembers the crash, and c) there was a familiar flash of light after the plane began to shake... I'm guessing they've ended up in the past. Does that count as "unpredictable?"
• This episode was almost completely linear. That's weird. Pardon the expression, but it felt like ten pounds of crap in a five-pound bag. Too much happened too quickly, with none of the exquisitely excruciating buildup we've come to expect from Lost. Am I nuts? Was it actually brilliant?
  

Nine Inch Nails: The Beginning of the End?

From nin.com:

2.16.09: A note from Trent and a wave goodbye
Towards the beginning of my career in Nine Inch Nails, our biggest break came in the form of an invitation to perform a series of shows with Jane's Addiction. These performances essentially created and defined the term "alternative" rock in the US, created an ongoing festival franchise that is still thriving (Lollapalooza), set the stage for Nirvana to shift popular taste a few months later, and were really fucking FUN to play and attend - truly the best times I've had. The shows were epic. So epic, they propelled NIN to the "next level" (whatever that means), but caused Jane's to implode. The band broke up at the end of that tour.

Fast forward to the present. Corporate rock STILL sucks. A friend tells me they saw the original Jane's lineup play a tiny show in LA that was unbelievable. I break out my Jane's records and am amazed by how vital they sound. These guys were the real deal and in this current climate mostly dominated by poseurs and pussies it was refreshing to hear something that sounded dangerous, volatile, beautiful and SINCERE.
Emails were sent, phone calls were made, dinner was arranged, ideas were discussed and the next thing I know we're in the studio experimenting. We laugh, we get to know each other, we cry, we yell, we almost quit, we record LOTS of guitar solos, we discuss, we actually begin to all communicate, we yell some more, we become FRIENDS, we laugh again and we do some great things. I get to see first hand why they broke up all those years ago but I also get the chance to see four distinct personalities that become an INCREDIBLE band when they're in the same room.

In NIN world, 2009 marks the 20th anniversary of our first releases. I've been thinking for some time now it's time to make NIN disappear for a while. Last year's "Lights in the Sky" tour was something I'm quite proud of and seems like the culmination of what I could pull off in terms of an elaborate production. It was also quite difficult to pull off technically and physically night after night and left us all a bit dazed. After some thought, we decided to book a last run of shows across the globe this year. The approach to these shows is quite different from last year - much more raw, spontaneous and less scripted. Fun for us and a different way for you to see us and wave goodbye. I reached out to Jane's to see if they'd want to join us across the US and we all felt it could be a great thing. Will it work? Will it resonate in the marketplace? Who knows. Is there big record label marketing dollars to convince you to attend? Nope.
Does it feel right to us and does it seem like it will be fun for us and you? Yes it does.
Look for tour dates soon and I hope to see you out there.

Trent



Thanks for the heads up, Jen. Twenty years is a long time, and if Trent thinks it's time for a breather - or an end - then it's time. It's been a wonderful ride. I can't wait to see this next round of shows... but big sigh.

Texting: Sometimes It's Rude

I'm just going to throw this out there: if someone needs to write an article telling the world that it's bad manners to text during a date, then maybe there's something seriously wrong with our generation's technological dependence. Then again, maybe the inability to make it through dates without obnoxiously texting about them will keep the rude people from breeding! Politeness FTW!

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Abraham Lincoln was born 200 years ago today. Our 16th President accomplished so many important things during his presidency: then, there's bringing a beard into the White House for the first time. I find it hard to picture President Lincoln without his facial hair, but there was a time in his adult life when it did not exist. To honor the anniversary of his birth, I present to you: How Mr. Lincoln Got His Beard. It's a heart-warming lesson about life, love, and how little girls can have a huge historical impact... or maybe just the last part.

Lost: This Place is Death

• ON THE PIER: Sun's ready to kill, but her baby girl called to say hello and tell her not to kill people. That's not what the subtitles said, but I know it's what she meant. Sun marches out of the car and is ready to blast Ben when he tells her than Jin is still alive. "I can prove it," he says. While Sun is shoving her gun in Ben's neck, Kate is casually taking her not-son out of Sun's car. And then everything falls apart, because Kate tells Jack to eff off, and Sayid tells Jack AND Ben to eff off, and Hurley doesn't tell anyone anything, because he's sadly not in this episode. Ben promises Sun that she will have her proof, and off they go. Jack apologies for leaving Jin behind, and then he and Sun argue over who gets to kill Ben. Surprisingly, Ben takes exception to this, and gives everyone whiplash. "If you had any idea what I've had to do to keep you safe - to keep your friends safe - you'd never stop thanking me." Never is a promise, and Ben can't afford to lie?
  
• ON THE ISLAND: Jin is in fact still alive, but it's 1988, and he's WAY confused. The Frenchies are looking for the source of the signal on the island, and they want help from Jin, whose English has gotten remarkably impressive. He just wants to find his camp... which means finding Sun. There's some cute banter between Danielle and her man about Alex's name as they head towards the radio tower. Unfortunately, they never get there... because Smoky McMonster is back! A la season 1, a dead person (Nadine) drops out of the sky. and then... EW. The most obnoxious Frenchy is separated from his arm as Smoky drags him underneath some kind of temple. Everyone but Danielle follows armless guy underground... and the flash takes Jin forward through time.
• In the not-so-distant future, Jin follows a non-arm-removing pillar of smoke out to the beach, where he finds a music box, a violin, and some dead people. Recently dead people. Frenchie dead people. He stumbles upon Danielle as she's about to kill the father of her baby, because Smoky changed him. David claims that Smoky is just a security system protecting the temple, and that he just wants to protect what he loves. Danielle wants to believe him, and she lowers her gun, and she is damn lucky that she isn't killed herself. Looks like Smoky - or something - changed him after all. And now we know how all the Frenchies died. Danielle wants to kill Jin too, but a timely flash takes Jin to a happy reunion with Sawyer.
  
• Except that it's not so happy, because Jin is flipping out - and not flipping out in English. Sawyer asks the Ghostbuster to translate, who responds: "he's Korean. I'm from Encino." Heh. Then Charlotte is forced to admit to the crew that she speaks Korean. There are worst secrets Charlotte could have, especially with the island crew. She could have blown up her dad or killed the wrong guy in a revenge plot or had really, REALLY bad hair. Charlotte explains to Jin that getting to the Orchid and bringing Sun back is the only way to fix everything. Jin seems a wee bit skeptical.
  
• Daniel: "so, you speak any other languages?" "Just Klingon," Charlotte responds. She looks like hell, and two quick flashes later, her brain scrambles enough for her to yell at Jin that Sun shouldn't come back. Why? "This place is death." Also, you can add Sawyer to the bloody nose list. Unfortunately, Charlotte has gone on to that place where her brain is skipping without her body. She loves Geronimo Jackson! Don't we all? She also tells Locke to "look for the well. You'll find it at the well." The crew leaves Daniel and Charlotte behind, and naturally, they arrive at the Orchid just in time for it to disappear. You can blame Juliet. Everyone else (read: Sawyer) does. But hey look, a well! This sort of thing used to take half a season to play out! How did Charlotte know it was there? "She's been there before," I say!
• "I've been here before," Charlotte says. DUH! She spills the entire story of her youth on the island, and how she was part of the Dharma Initiative. Her mother convinced her that the island was fake, but Charlotte has spent her whole life trying to find it. Unfortunately, there's a problem. She tells Daniel that "there was this man, this crazy man, he really scared me, and he told me that I had to leave the island and never ever come back - he told me that if I came back, I would die." Who was that man? DANIEL! NOOOOOOOOO! Daniel tries to offer some words of comfort about his all-powerful mother, but Charlotte mumbles something about chocolate and flatlines. He obviously didn't tilt his head hard enough.
• Locke is ready to jump into the well, but Jin's not pleased about this plan. He gives Locke his wedding ring and makes him promise to tell Sun that he is dead. Then - into the rabbit hole. Err, well. As Locke is lowering himself to the ground, there's a flash of light which leaves the rope stuck in the ground and Sawyer panicking. Locke is alive underground, and he's not alone. (Also, I think there's a leg bone sticking out of his pants, but I'm going to ignore that.) Hey, it's Christian Shepard! I can't say that he's happy. See, Locke didn't exactly follow directions. Christian told him that HE had to move the island, and HE didn't move the island. Ben did. Ben just can't be trusted. Christian says that Locke needs to bring everyone to Eloise Hawking, and he confirms that John will have to die. John agrees with very little hesitation, but his shattered leg makes it hard for him to stand. Christian can't help him up. Wonder why. As John pushes the magical wheel, he hears, "say hello to my son." Oh mercy.
• Final scene. The van pulls up to a church, and Ben presents Sun with Jin's ring, telling her that if she wants to see him alive again, she must agree to come back to the island. She does. (Canton-Rainier, as seen on the side of the van, anagrams to Reincarnation, by the way. I love Lost forums.) Just then, Desmond shows up, all like "WHAT'RE YOU DOIN' HERE, BROTHAH?" I immediately panic about the well-being of Penny Widmore Hume. If Ben sees her, she's dead. Ben does seem confused at the prospect of Mrs. Hawking and Daniel's mum being one and the same. Everyone goes into the church, and there she is. Least surprising reveal ever. Even though Ben failed to bring the Six, Ellie says, "let's get started." WITH WHAT?!?!? Also, haven't she and Des met before? Will that come into play? Is it next Wednesday yet?

New Muse in September?

There's nothing like a little Muse news to brighten my Monday. Allegedly, my Museykins will release their new CD in September, followed by a European tour. ...wait, a EUROPEAN tour? Come on, Muse! It's been a year and a half since I last experienced the glory of your live show on a damp August night in Grant Park! Seriously, look at how happy I was during Muse's Lollapalooza set:

Do you really want me to wait until 2010 to be that happy again, Muse? I hope that this "insider" discovers plans for a North American tour ASAP. In the meantime, I'll be watching HAARP again.

I'M ON A BOAT!

This is ridiculously vulgar (you've been warned) and totally awesome:



The song emerged earlier this week, but the video makes it magical. I've watched it four times already, and T-Pain's sailing hat kills me every time. Like Kevin Garnett: anything is possible!

Music Lives Underwater

I read about the SwiMP3 earlier this week, and I've been thinking about it ever since. It's a waterproof MP3 player that uses "bone-conduction technology" to make the fluid in your ear vibrate, allowing you to hear music without headphones. The device has actually been around since 2005, but it was a lot bulkier then: the core unit actually sat on the back of the swimmer's head. Now it consists of two pieces held in place under your goggle straps, weighing 2 oz and holding up to 60 songs.

As a former competitive swimmer, I often miss my days doing lap after lap after school... and before school... and on Saturdays. Some of my earliest memories involve splashing around in the McDermott Pool with my dad and brother. My lips would turn blue before I'd come in from the ocean. I like to swim, is what I'm saying. In recent years, it's become less of a priority. Reading about this device brings me back to swim practice, when I would play songs in my head (August and Everything After was in heavy rotation) to break up the monotony. If I can easily marry two of my loves, music and water, maybe I can become motivated to get back in the pool! We shall see...

Lost: The Little Prince

After a week to think about it, I'm not thrilled with my last Lost post. I missed some key clues about Blondie (Daniel's mum?) and the conversation between Richard and Locke (setting up their meeting in Richard's future/Locke's past). I didn't even notice that Bernard and Rose were nowhere to be found! Is my elation over an episode without Jack and Kate to blame? Or maybe there's just rust on the gears? Either way: bang a gong, let's get it on.

• Back on the Searcher, Jack and Kate talk sleeplessness and Aaron. Since Claire was planning on giving him up for adoption, Kate comes up with the plan to keep Aaron for her own, because she can't stand the people she's lost. "Sawyer's not dead." "But he's gone." Sniff. Jack and Kate also scheme about making everyone lie, and Kate tells him, "I have always been with you." So she's distraught over losing Sawyer, but she's always been with Jack. Back to this again. They couldn't just stay away, huh?

ON THE ISLAND

• Charlotte's all bloody, and she's been out for 10 minutes. Juliet calmly asks to know what's up and dismisses Sawyer when he gets grumpy about it. Desmond explains that it's neurological, and "the flashes threw her clock off." Locke thinks going back to the Orchid is the solution. If Ben could use it to leave the island, maybe Locke can do the same. At this point, my cable starts doing this digital hiccuping thing that makes me curse Comcast and its foul minions. I surmise that Locke wants to make the Six come back, "even if it kills me." Charlotte comes to, but my cable chews up and spits out whatever she said. I hate you, Comcast.
• Sawyer wants to give Locke advice about how to get Kate back on the island, but he's interrupted when it appears that the Luxor hotel has been transported to the island. I know when we are. Charlotte's glowing "Daniel lurves me" smile has been replaced by her old bitchery, and now the Ghostbuster is bleeding. To make matters worse, someone's screaming! That someone is Claire. She's giving birth to Aaron, and Kate is helping. Sawyer watches them as the flash pulls them away. I've never seen such a look of pure, honest pain on Sawyer's face in five years. Kate doesn't deserve that kind of look. Locke explains to Sawyer about his night banging on the hatch, and how "I needed that pain to get where I am now." Besides, if he hadn't banged on the hatch, Desmond might have offed himself. That would have put a cramp in this show's increasingly complicated style.
  
• The Ghostbuster comes clean about his nosebleed. Daniel thinks that exposure to the island might have something to do with the nosebleeds. When the Ghostbuster says that he's only been on the island for two weeks, Daniel asks if he's sure. Maybe Ghosty could be that baby we saw with Dr. Candle/Halliwax/whatever-his-name-is after all? The group finds the camp, but it looks like someone had a wild beach party with all the Dharma beer! Bummer, dude. They ALSO find some boats, one of which has a half-empty bottle of water with an Ajira logo on it. That airline might be worth investigating. The group takes a boat, and Sawyer is mopey. He tells Juliet that he saw Kate. "Time travel's a bitch." I believe Sawyer has now said bitch in every episode this season. Then we have a SHOOTOUT ON THE WATER. There's a lot of yelling about paddling, and Sawyer shouts something at the time-traveling flash, which I'm sure is productive.
• On land, everyone is wet and tired. Juliet is playing shrink. "I was close enough to touch her," Sawyer says, but "what's done is done." Juliet is bleeding. Enough with the bleeding. Now there are screaming French people in a raft. I was about to lose my patience with this episode... but then they found Jin. Jin is alive! Leathery, but alive! AND THAT'S ROUSSEAU!!! O! M! G!
  

OFF THE ISLAND

• In the future, Sun and Kate are BFFs who trade clothes, and Kate somehow doesn't notice that Sun is being creepy and robotic. Aaron appears to be eating a huge pile of various kinds of sauceless pasta as his not-mother leaves. Sun gets a package as Kate departs, containing neatly typed documents from Surveillance Data Investigations, Inc, pics of Ben and Jack outside the funeral home... and a box of chocolates with a gun in it. OoOoOoOo.
  
• Kate has gone to meet the lawyer - Norton, by the way - and vants to know who vants her blood. She offers to make a deal to find out who the client is, but Norton says she's not in a position to do that. Said client wants an exchange of custody. Kate panics, and Norton assures her that "you are going to lose the boy."
• Sayid had three doses of horse tranquilizers in his system. That would be a problem for a lesser man, but not our Sayid. He banters with Jack about whose side Ben is on. I think we know who's the smart one in this duo. (Hint: not Jack.) A lady doctor shows up to yell at Jack for being a sh*tty doctor who's practicing sh*tty medicine... or something like that. Hurley calls: he's in jail and wearing an unfortunate jumpsuit, and he tells Jack that Ben can't get him now. Too bad Ben walked up JUST a second too late for Jack to hand the phone to him! At this point, no one should be at all surprised that a mysterious character shows up and tries to give Sayid horse tranquilizer #4 - just as no one should be surprised that Sayid kicks the guy's ass. That's what he does. It looks like Kate was on the guy's list too...
• So Jack calls Kate and says he needs to see her. Kate agrees. When he shows up, she tells him to go. Typical broad. Jack ends up jumping in the car so she can tail the lawyer and find out who the client is. Turns out... it's Claire's mother! But not really, because she's just suing Oceanic and happened to be in town to get her money! Coincidence! By the way, "Aaron" wouldn't have rung a bell for her, Lost. The baybee was born on the island, so Grandma wouldn't have know his name. We just saw that, remember? Meanwhile, Sayid and Ben are going after Hurley - and who should they run into but the lawyer. Ben's lawyer. Well, isn't that nice.
  
• Long Beach Marina. Kate wants to know why Jack called, and he babbles about getting her and the baby somewhere safe. Then Ben shows up, and Sayid, and it becomes clear that Ben's been manipulating them all. Sun, watching from afar, decides that this is the time to take her chocolate gun and get to business... but Sun! Jin's alive! Do you hear me? ALIIIIIIIVE!

Grammar Gripes

I often gripe privately (and occasionally publicly) about spelling and grammar errors, so this article really speaks to me. As larger issues like the economy spiral out of control, some people have lower tolerance for smaller things like misplaced apostrophes and quotation marks. The article shouts out some of my favorite internet homes for grammatical snobbery, like the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks. It also provides helpful hints on how to wield said snobbery. “If it’s to show how smart you are, it will probably backfire, especially if the other person feels embarrassed,” one expert offers. In other words: no one likes a smart ass (but we all like stars).

There are plenty of important things to worry about. Incorrect spelling won't end the world. However, if people don't continue to use our language correctly, it will slowly die... or at least morph into lolcat-speak. No one wants that.

Except maybe this guy:

Time to Twitter

I just joined Twitter! Follow me! Hooray!

http://twitter.com/electraq101

The internet is such a magical place.

Change (In the Blog of Electra)

So I felt like freshening things up. Writing 500 posts without giving the place a face lift feels wrong. The color scheme is partially inspired by the Joker and partially hopeful for the coming of spring. If you HATE it, let me know. Otherwise: feel the green.

Post-SB Thoughts

Pros:

• Tons of delicious food - including Joan's awesome football-shaped cake
• The Kitty Half-Time Show on Animal Planet
• Yelling "Larry Fitzgerald is better than you" after every spectacular catch (because he is)
• Enjoying an evening with good people, tasty beverages and plenty of laughs
  

Cons:

• The somewhat anticlimactic ending to a phenomenal fourth quarter (No review, refs? Seriously?)
  
• Watching the Super Bowl MVP go to a guy who was arrested - for the third time - just three months ago
  
• Generally lame commercials - except for the Hulu ad with Alec Baldwin
  
• Mommy refusing to drop any Italian beef (sorry, that was Roland)

Undecided:

• Watching the Boss's crotch careen towards me in high definition

In conclusion:

• It's almost baseball season.

And you?