Happy Birthday, Christian Bale!

Is this really the Pac-Man commercial featuring one of Christian Bale's first acting performances?


Tough to tell, between the grainy video quality and blinding, marshmallowy light. But it's entertaining nonetheless, as is this review of the cereal and commercial. Happy birthday to Mr. Bale: Batman, psychopath, cereal fan and fine actor.

Bourdain Does Chicago

I love Anthony Bourdain. He fits several of my criteria for celebrity crushes: several years older than me, sarcastic, and smart. If Bourdain had a beard, he'd be my dream man. No Reservations, his show on the Travel Channel, is great fun to watch. So I am delighted to learn that the first episode filmed in Chicago is debuting on Monday night! Here's a list of everything he ate while he was in the area. Paul and I have driven by Hot Doug's many, many, MANY times and always been dissuaded by the line down the block. Mmm, encased meat.

There are plenty of places Bourdain and his crew didn't get to, of course (something tells me Kuma's would have been right up his alley), and that means there are plenty of reasons for him to come back. I know he's got the entire world to cover, but Chicago is worth more than a single look.

Also, I'm hungry.

Lost: Jughead

This is my 500th blog entry. Over 50 of these entries have involved Lost. Happy day.

• Desmond is running through a colorful village searching for someone. I may not know what language everyone is speaking, but I know gambling when I see it. That someone is a doctor: PENNY IS PREGNANT! AND SCREAMING! I wonder what kind of noises she'd make if that were actual labor that lasted more than 90 seconds! So now we learn that Des and Penny have become Des, Penny and an as-yet-nameless boy. Penny seems quite bitchy about this journey to Oxford. I don't blame her. She asks Des to promise that he'll never go back to the island. OBVIOUSLY that means he's going back. I'm hip to your games, Lost.
  
• Speaking of hip, Desmond is wearing trendy glasses and a fashionable scarf as he attempts to track down Daniel's mother. I want to call her his "mum," because of everyone's accents. So I shall. Des doesn't have luck asking someone about the mum, so instead he goes snooping. Dangerous fumigation in the physics department? Must be the spot. Daniel's old lab is draped in canvas and not really being fumigated. A man in a jaunty cap explains that he was incinerating time-traveling rats! Awww. Eloise. Turns out that Daniel graduated to people, and somehow I'm more moved by the rats' fate than "that poor girl." Desmond soon finds out what Daniel's experiments have wrought: a brain... unstuck... in time. Oh, and by the way, Widmore was funding Daniel's research. Hooray!
  
• "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH." That was what I shouted when Des marched into Widmore's office. He needs to know where he can find Faraday's mum. Widmore needs to know if Penny is safe. Des doesn't budge. Oddly, Widmore immediately caves and says the mum is in Los Angeles. The mum is TOTALLY the spooky jeweler - or the Spooler, if you will, and I will. Des looks confused at his compliance and walks towards the door. Widmore does his best concerned daddy impression, but it just rubs Des the wrong way. He returns to his boat where a) Des reveals that they've named their baybee Chahlie (sniffle) and b) Penny thinks her husband doth protest too much. She says his family will go with him to find Daniel's mum. That's a heck of a sailing trip.
  
• ON THE ISLAND: Charlotte is still sick, and getting worse. Daniel's idea of reassuring her/leading Miles seems to be to whisper and tilt his head to lull his target into submission. I should try that some time. They are trying to meet up with Sawyer and crew at the creek. It doesn't work out. Some voiceless castaways go boom, and the people with arrows emerge from the jungle. Miles identifies Daniel as their leader. Don't believe him? Just listen to him whisper! A petite blond tells Daniel, "you just couldn't stay away." WELL WELL. She demands to know where the rest of their people are.
  
• The rest of their people are deciding what to do about the two dudes they captured! They speak LATIN! I took a year of Latin in college: amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. Impressed? I thought so. Juliet speaks it too - it's the language of the enlightened, after all - and explains that they are Others. She tries to convince the boys to take them to Richard. When one caves, the other kills him. Not so enlightened. Locke won't shoot at the killer's retreating figure and gets all sensitive because these boys are "his people." OH BROTHER.
  
• Miles does his Ghostbuster thing as the group walks over a fresh grave. 4 U.S. Soldiers, dead just under a month. 3 shot. One died of radiation poisoning. Daniel asked if any of them mentioned the year. I bet that's not top of mind when you're dead. The blond is leading them to Richard, who assumes that Daniel has come back for his hydrogen bomb. WELL WELL. Daniel admits his love for Charlotte in an attempt to save their lives. Since they're in 1954, it follows that Charlotte would play coy about Daniel's admission instead of asking him about it outright. Then she gets teary. She's so dead. Richard casually mentions that he had to kill some Army guys. Something about a chain of command. I smell JACOB!
• "How old is he," asks Locke of Richard. "Old," answers Juliet. Thanks. That clears everything up. Locke takes off to GET HIM SOME ANSWERS. Sawyer asks Juliet: "you want to stay here in Crazy Town or help me rescue the geek?" Incredibly, this was the only mildly funny moment of the episode. And it wasn't that funny, because it made me think of this.
• "I am your best chance at disarming that bomb," Daniel tells the distrustful blond. And there it is. A big leaky H-bomb named Jughead. He and the blond yell at each other about burying the bomb and not trusting each other and I'm confused, because didn't she seem to recognize him back at the creek? Their quarrel is broken up when Daniel admits that he's from the future, so he knows everything turns out peachy keen! Except for the spontaneous time travel and smoke monster. Sawyer and Juliet show up just so Sawyer can call the woman Blondie, which is not exactly his best work. Well, the bomb IS Jughead. Got to keep the comic strip theme going.
• Locke marches into Richard's camp hooting, hollering and generally causing a commotion. Richard, as expected, doesn't recognize him. Locke does not immediately pull out the compass, but rather name drops Jacob. And then Richard name drops WIDMORE! Charles Widmore is an Other! Locke could have killed him and didn't - he even SMILES at him! And my head done EXPLODED! Locke and Richard have their talk. It's all the same confusing banter about time travel and unanswered questions. The flash comes, Richard disappears, and I notice just how tight Locke's shirt is. The time-travelers regroup. Charlotte smiles lovingly at Daniel and promptly starts bleeding like crazy. I think we've LOST her!
  

One Second Ads

Like many people, I am amused by the Miller High Life guy. You know the guy. He talks straight about common sense. He's aghast at the thought of paying too much for a hamburger. For $13, he'd BE a macadamia nut. And so forth. During this Sunday's ode to expensive commercials/football game, there will be a one-second ad for Miller High Life - because paying $3 million for 30 seconds of advertising is NOT common sense. Learn more about that here. Watch the "outtakes" here:


He's no Terry Tate, but he does make me chuckle. That's more than I can say for most people. Thanks, Miller High Life guy.

A Broadway Thriller

The video for Michael Jackson's "Thriller" could become a Broadway musical. In the words of producer James L. Nederlander, who just procured the rights: "I love the idea of making 'Thriller' a musical. Girl meets boy, they fall in love, boy has big secret, now what?" That is the distilled essence of the best music video ever made.

The years since Thriller was released have not been kind to the King of Pop's public perception. I often brace for impact when I see his name in a headline, expecting to read about bizarre behavior, financial ruin, or legal hot water. Despite the drama, the music of Thriller is still bad ass. I (finally) bought Guitar Hero World Tour over the weekend: "Beat It" is just as fun as I imagined. Fall Out Boy and John Mayer must feel the same way. Chris Cornell took his shot at "Billie Jean" not too long ago. Even "mama-se, mama-sa, mama-coo-sa" still means something more than 25 years later. (Although exactly what, I don't know.)

Thriller's title track is a monster all its own. Whatever I think about Michael Jackson - whatever is or isn't true - is irrelevant when it comes to my enjoyment of that song and video. "Thriller" transcends genre and judgment, and it is glorious entertainment. Perhaps Broadway could be a fitting home for a boy, a girl, and the undead for years to come.

And if not, there's always this:

Lost: Because You Left and The Lie

Arrrrrre yoooooou READYYYYYYYY? I apologize in advance if I'm rusty. It's been a while.

Because You Left

• The fifth season opens on a clock that turns to 8:15. Looks like the numbers are still around! We hear a crying Asian baby who belongs to "Dr. Chang," a.k.a. the many-named star of all those Dharma orientation videos. Does this mean that the problem with dying babies didn't always exist on the island? After a little bottle time and jammin' to the oldies, the good doctor quickly begins filming a new video. There's a problem with the Orchid that interrupts him: it's the magical island-moving wheel! There is limitless energy surrounding it, and "it's going to allow us to manipulate time." As he storms out of the underground tunnel where his workers have discovered the problem, "Dr. Chang" bumps into... DANIEL! MY PHYSICIST! He was a Dharma worker? Oh brothah.
  
• On the freshly moved island, Locke finds himself alone in the jungle. Out at the beach, Sawyer and Juliet are ok, if disoriented. Bernard is searching for Rose. Rose is right behind him. They must suck at Marco Polo. The remaining islanders converge on the campsite, but all their supplies are gone. Daniel, who never made it out of the island's move zone, knows what's up. After some man-flirting, Sawyer makes Daniel explain that they're on an island... unstuck... in TIME! Either it's moving or they are. When Sawyer and Juliet begin discussing changing the course of events that have passed, Daniel tells them that time is like a street. You can move forward or backward, but you cannot make a new street. What is done cannot be undone.
  
• At Daniel's request, the group heads to "something manmade," which leads them to the blowed-up hatch. The Ghostbuster wonders what purpose the hatch served. Juliet sums it up: "there was a man named Desmond who was living down in it. He was pushing a button every 108 minutes to save the world." The Ghostbuster says, "really?" Trust me dude, we lived it, and it was just as absurd as it sounds. The light flashes, time shifts, and the hatch reappears. Sawyer freaks and wants to bust into the hatch for supplies. Daniel tries to tell him that he can't change the past, which maddens Sawyer: "everyone I care about just blew up on your damn boat." Juliet plays peacemaker, and the assembled crowd heads back to the beach.
  
• Well, most of them head back to the beach. Charlotte starts bleeding from the nose, and a bloody nose is a bad sign for time travelers. Daniel decides that he needs to talk to Desmond. His constant. Of course. Daniel tells Desmond that "the rules" don't apply to him, and he's "uniquely and miraculously special." Des, naturally, is WAY confused. Daniel shouts that people will die, and Des needs to go back to Oxford and find his mother and...
• Desmond wakes up, next to Penny, three years after their reunion. They're married and living on a boat. Des realizes that his dream was more like a memory, and he wastes no time telling his love that they must go to Oxford. Good to see you guys! Catch up in a couple weeks!
  
• Back in the jungle, Locke watches a small plane soar past him and crash. That plane happens to drop a Virgin Mary statue that looks terribly familiar. After a fall that reminds me a little too much of Locke's off-the-island past, Ethan shows up with a gun. Locke tries to use his knowledge of the future to razzle-dazzle Ethan, but the island beats him to it with another blinding flash of time-traveling light. Now limpy Locke is left alone to board the plane o' drugs, where Richard finds him. "I didn't go anywhere - YOU went," explains Richard, right before he EW GROSS REMOVES A BULLET FROM HIS LEG ok I can look again. Richard gives Locke a compass ("it points north, John" = ha) and calmly explains that he has to save the island by bringing the Oceanic Six back. To do that, he's going to have to die. My eyes get as wide as Locke's as the blinding flash of light does its thing.
  
• Off the island: Jack's time as a hot bearded mess comes to an end, as he and Benry begin Operation: Recruitment! Step one: remove Locke. Ew. Ben relates his final moments with the man who was Bentham, and so does Jack. Locke told Jack that everyone still on the island would die if Jack didn't return. They run into a snag with their recruitment plan when Hurley shows up on the news. The police think Hurley is a murderer. As if life's not hard enough for him. He sees dead people!
  
• "Maybe if you eat more comfort food, you wouldn't have to go around shooting people." That is advice to live by. Thanks, Hurley. Sayid continues to be a badass, spilling his murderous relationship with the untrustworthy Benry while getting Hurley to a safehouse. There we have a skirmish and death by dishwasher. Band name alert! After the melee, Sayid goes down and an opportunistic guy with a camera phone snaps Hurley in a bad position. Both of those things are going to be problematic.
  
• Kate really has taken to her role as a mom. She calls Aaron "Goober," and I want to like her, but I just can't. A couple lawyers show up LOOKING FOR BLOOD. LITERALLY. You know, so that they can determine if Kate's really Aaron's mom. They will not say who sent them. Kate, naturally, decides that she should run from her problems. Always worked for her in the past!
• Sun is flying to L.A. on Oceanic... or trying to, anyway. Widmore intercepts Sun to chastise her for disrespecting him. Sun spells out that she wants to help Widmore kill Benry. She is not messing around.
  

The Lie

• Hour two opens on Penny's searching boat, where the Six are finalizing their plan to lie. Jack is leading the conversation. Kate thinks Jack is dreamy. Sun is sullen. Wolf is drinking. Hurley doesn't want to lie, and Jack tries to convince him by saying, "they're gonna think you're crazy." Is that technically foreshadowing? I can't tell, I'm too busy hating Jack. Sayid wants Hurley to go along with the plan, which upsets the rotund one. He says that someday, he won't help Sayid when he needs him.
  
• In the now, Sayid is unconscious, and Hurley is helping him! So much for standing your ground. Sirens blare behind him, and Hurley gets pulled over by... Ana-Lucia! She's one of Hurley's new dead friends, and she's here to help. I am amused that Michelle Rodriguez is giving advice on how not to get arrested, and I know I'm not alone. She says that Libby says hi. Aww, sad aborted picnic memories. Hurley decides to take A-L's advice about changing his clothes, so he buys an "I 'heart' Shih-Tzus" shirt from "Amy Winehouse." Next, he heads home, where Papa Cheech is watching Expose! Nikki lives on in reruns! The LAPD is hot on Hurley's trail, and it appears that "Kobe Bryant" is one of the officers. This episode is full of "guest stars!" After some talk about the dangers of the hospital and whether or not Hurley is actually crazy (he's not), Mama Carmen comes home and hilariously asks, "why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?" HE'S IRAQI, GOSH.
• Benry is taking charge. He tosses Jack's pills and informs him that he needs to pack up everything he wants from "this life," evading the question of whether Locke is really dead. They part ways, and Ben goes to a meat shop. "Jill" is our butcher's name. Whoever she is, she agrees to watch Locke's body. How many people off the island know about this whole mess?
  
• Jack doesn't get to spend much time packing, because he is the only person Hurley trusts to heal Sayid. Papa Cheech definitely doesn't trust Jack. I wouldn't either. After alerting Benry about his visitor, Jack sets about his doctorly business. Sayid regains consciousness and promptly wraps his hands around Jack's throat. More of that, please. While they're reconnecting, Mama Carmen is lecturing Hurley about the trouble he's in. Why isn't everyone being more sensitive towards the guy who's been in a MENTAL INSTITUTION? Mama's tough love breaks Hurley, and he finally admits that they lied. The crazy truth spills out of him in a breathless speech, and just when I'm sure his mother will re-commit him, she says she believes him. This makes me worry for Mama Carmen.
• OH, NO, FLYING HOT POCKET! Benry comes to get Hurley, and the poor microwavable treat takes the fall for Hurley's nerves. Benry tries his best to manipulate the eff out of Hurley, playing on his desire to stop lying and widening those creepy blue eyes as much as he can. Rather than go with Benry, Hurley remembers that Sayid said not to trust him and turns himself in to the waiting police. I'd qualify that as snag #2 in Operation: Recruitment!
  
• Kaaaaate-on-the-run briefly debates calling Jack, but dismisses the idea just in time to get a call from "a friend." Just as well, he's pretty busy. She and Aaron act disgustingly cute as they go off to meet said friend: Sun. After some "oh hey we both have babies now" banter, Kate spills the beans about the lawyers' visit. Sun suggests that they just want Aaron, not the truth, and she asks if Kate is willing to do whatever it takes to keep him. Kate SO wants to declare a mom-off. The women stare each other down. For a minute, it seems that Sun might blame Kate for Jin's death, but I think we all know that it's Jack she holds accountable. The whole scene is creepy. Sun is up to no good.
  
• MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE ISLAND. It's rebuilding time on the beach. Bernard and Rose are bickering as they try to build a fire, but Rose has the right idea: they have to take care of things they can control. Daniel busts out a gizmo and says he needs to determine where they are in time. Later, Charlotte still feels sick from the time travel. She knows that something is wrong, but before Daniel can fill her in, the Ghostbuster presents the group with a boar. The boar never gets to be dinner, though. Some annoying guy named Neil complains about their lack of fire and is promptly shot by a flaming arrow. Is that irony? I can't tell, I'm too busy wiping off the cheese from my screen. Arrows fly, and everyone scurries. Sawyer and Juliet scurry together, and they end up getting captured. An unfamiliar fellow in a non-Dharma jumpsuit asks what they're doing "on our island." Then there's some casual talk of dismemberment before Locke shows up to save the day.
• The final scene is a spooky one, featuring a chalk-bearing pendulum and a hooded woman calculating an event window on a clunky old computer. She clearly seems to be determining the new location of the island. Is this Daniel's mother? Unclear: but it IS the spooky jeweler! I knew she'd be back! She tells Benry that he has 70 hours to gather everyone, and God help us all if he can't. But no pressure.
  

Lost Is Almost Back!

After an emotional and moving Inauguration Day, I'm glad to finally slip back into the world of Lost. It returns tonight, as will my recaps. I'm nervous: my recapping muscle hasn't been flexed in some time. Just like with the show, I have faith that everything will turn out ok.

I've been spending my day perusing my own favorite recapping sites, like Television Without Pity and Ack Attack. I haven't brought myself to read ALL of this Q&A that was on the Trib a week ago, for fear of MASSIVE SPOILAGE OMG. But if you want to chance it, the interview offers an inside look from the show's creators.

The countdown is on. SO EXCITED.

Morgan Freeman Does BNL?

To quote Jane's Addiction... "just because:"



Morgan Freeman could read a dictionary and make it sound awesome. Thanks to Bellwether, who passed this along to Sauce, who passed it along to me.

Also, I think I love Larry Fitzgerald, just a little.

Bulls Beat the King!

"How dare you come here wearing that 23?" That's what my boyfriend said tonight after we watched LeBron James take what would have been a game winning shot against the Bulls. LeBron confidently dribbled out the clock, determined to have a Jordan-like moment in the house that Jordan built, and he simply missed. There would be no buzzer-beating victory for his Cavaliers on this frigid night, only overtime.

And for once this season, the King would be denied a victory against the Bulls. He looked ordinary. He missed thirteen shots in a row. He turned the ball over eight times. It was great - almost as great as Derrick Rose's Kevin-Garnett-esque scream after making a tough layup. To celebrate this Bulls win, I give you... CRAB DRIBBLE!



I hope this 102-93 victory made the walk out of the UC a little bit warmer for the assembled crowd: it's been over twenty-three hours since the temperature has been above zero in Chicago. Hooray! Winter! I will now burn my old clothes for warmth.

CHOCOBO!

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen on the internet... today, anyway.



I'll admit it, I LOLed. Thanks, Sauce. Have a great weekend.

Winter Embarrassment

Thanks to today's thin coating of snow, I nearly fell TWICE on the icy sidewalk near my apartment - in nearly the identical spot. Both this morning and afternoon, I managed to flail my arms and legs wildly and regain my balance: honestly, it was quite the feat. Still, I felt embarrassed at looking (I imagine) like a frightened and spastic goose to passing drivers.

Then I read this guy's winter tale of woe, and suddenly, I didn't feel so embarrassed anymore. Yeesh.

In Which I Make Some New Year's Lists

I don't really do resolutions. However...

Four things I'm looking forward to in 2009:

• The return of Lost
• New CDs from Muse, Pearl Jam and U2
• Watchmen... unless, you know, it doesn't come out
• Drunken Goat, Stephanie Izard's new restaurant in Bucktown
  

Four things I'm hoping for in 2009:

• More frequent bowling trips
• A neat and organized apartment
• More chances to see out-of-town family and friends
• The Red Sox winning the AL East despite the Yankees spending eleventy billion dollars on new players

Winter Classic 2009

Not the perfect outcome, but a great day nonetheless. Happy new year!