Lost: The Constant

Sorry for the delay. :)

• OH MY GOD, FISHER STEVENS! JOHNNY FIVE IS ALIIIIIVE! Fisher, though... not so much. So he and Desmond AND Dan were/are suffering from some sort of time travel sickness, and only a "constant" that will "anchor" them is the cure. It was obvious who Dez's constant would be: and of course her new address is 4-23. Ah, the numbers. I'm a little confused about the Desmond/Penny timeline, but I'm too tired to investigate. So the star-crossed lovers got to have their emotional and anchoring talk. For crying out loud, we even got a shot of Desmeo looking up at Penliet's window. A little cheesy... but it still got dusty in here.
• Boy, do I love Dan. His character provides so many answers AND more clues about how time moves differently on the island. "This is where I do the things Oxford frowns upon." And those things involve Eloise: a rat...unstuck... in time. Ohhhhh, did I have a hearty chuckle when Dan said that her brain "short-circuited." Eloise: NOT ALIIIIIIIVE. If Desmond is Dan's constant, Dan had better make damn sure Desmond stays alive... and he shouldn't find out how Romeo and Juliet ends, because that is gonna f*ck a dude UP.
• I don't know if I can handle more of Juliet (actual Juliet, not Penliet) and Charlotte together. It's simply too much sarcasm - and coming from ME, that's INSANE.
• THE BLACK ROCK? It set sail in 1845: lost at sea, my ass. It's on the goddamn island. And a Hanso owned the Black Rock's journal until Penny's dad won it at auction. Head... exploding. So clearly that ship is good for more than just pillaging explosives.
  
• Questions: Why was the equipment sabotaged - and by who? Who is their friend on the boat? Is that friend Ben's spy or someone else? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
• Pilot Wolf: "Keep 'im away from the stick." When there's no Hurley or Sawyer to be found... looks like Wolfie's your quotable man.
• Iron Man trailer. So awesome.

This one is going to take some time to digest... and I need some sleep. Comment away.

Sad Songs Say So Much

Mike from Wheeling (who LOVES the Foo Fighters) asked a question today: which songs have moved me the most? I decided to interpret that as "tell me which songs make you cry," and I was happy to oblige. These are the five hauntingly sad and/or emotionally draining songs that came to mind immediately:

"Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes" - Beck
"The Luckiest" - Ben Folds
"The Scientist" - Coldplay
"Come Pick Me Up" - Ryan Adams
"The Blower's Daughter" - Damien Rice

After some deliberation (and consultation of my music library), I've decided to add these to my list of weepy songs:

"Raining in Baltimore" - Counting Crows
"Ghost of a Good Thing" - Dashboard Confessional
"Transatlanticism" - Death Cab For Cutie
"Run" - Snow Patrol
"All I Want Is You" - U2

Naturally, there are stories behind many of these choices: those stories stay secret. Feel free to share your own sentimental favorites...

Foo Fighters: The Review

I just got back from the Foo Fighters show at the Allstate Arena. Boy, trying to navigate that parking lot when it's full of slush and ice and snow sure is a challenge. Nine long years have passed since I last saw the Foos, and the wait was well worth it. I learned many things tonight, including but not limited to:

1. Dave Grohl loves the word "f*cking." Boy, did he get mileage out of the f-bomb tonight. I lost count at 15.
   
2. Dave Grohl's first concert (excluding the Jackson Five at a state fair when he was two) was at the "f*cking Cubby Bear." The band was Naked Raygun, and he credits that show with inspiring him to become a musician.
3. I can't make a living playing the triangle, because I am not good enough.

Dave's quite the showman. He drank up the adoration of the boisterous crowd and ran around like an excited little kid. While there were plenty of cool moments - Taylor's drum solo in the middle of Stacked Actors, a mini-guitar battle between Dave and Chris, Dave hamming it up for the night vision camera before the inevitable encore - my favorite part happened during the acoustic section of the set. The set-up was on a separate round stage in the middle of the arena, which literally dropped from the rafters halfway through the show. Chills ran down my spine during the acoustic arrangement of "My Hero." It was gorgeous. Oh, and I guess I enjoyed hearing Mr. Grohl say "bag of d*cks," because you don't hear that every day.

Here's your setlist:

Let It Die
The Pretender
Times Like These
Breakout
Learn To Fly
Cheer Up Boys, Your Makeup Is Running
This Is a Call w/ blues breakdown
Guitar Solo battle
Stacked Actors w/ drum solo
(acoustic)
Skin and Bones
Marigold
My Hero
(band intros/Dave tells his favorite drummer joke)
Cold Day in the Sun
But Honestly
(end acoustic)
Everlong
Monkey Wrench
All My Life
(fun with night vision - encore)
Big Me (duet with Jessy Greene)
Long Road to Ruin
The Best Of You

It was quite the rock concert. Special shout out to Sheriff Scabs and Ruth, who I ran into while navigating the winding hallways of the Allstate Arena. Additional shout out to the word f*cking, without which I don't think the evening would have been quite the same.

Lost: Eggman

Since Dish Network decided that 7:59pm was the perfect time to update my satellite information, I missed the first five minutes of Lost. Thanks, Dish Network. No MLB Extra Innings, and now this. I managed to use my stellar powers of deduction to figure out that this episode is about Future Kate... who has a kid and is on trial. Well, it's going to be a long hour.

• Jack the character witness: "Only eight of us survived the crash." Guess putting your hand on a bible means nothing to you, Doc. Why wasn't it the Oceanic Eight, then? And also, what the hell kind of question is "do you love the defendant?" How do you get to be a D.A. when you ask ridiculous soap-opera-caliber questions? Also, are you allowed to sarcastically remind the jury that they had prior knowledge of said defendant? These are the worst lawyers ever. Shock and surprise, Kate, "the hero," doesn't go to jail... and her "baby" is Aaron. Is HE one of the Six? Or do they only count adults? Because we're running out of room on that there list.
• Let's count the ways Island Kate screws up. For starters, she left Miles' food outside. What a lousy waitress. She makes Claire stop what she's doing because she selfishly doesn't want to hold Aaron. "You should try it someday," says cheerful and lovely Claire. Well, doesn't that line sound painfully obvious in hindsight. She leads Miles to Ben, which gets her "banished" - I think that counts as a screw up. We do get answers, though! Ben is a bad, bad man. Wait, we knew that. We find out that Kate is a fugitive. Wait, we knew that. Well. I guess we find out that Miles wants 3.2 million to shut up. Good times.
• Oh look, Sun and Jin. Rut roh, "my baby" instead of "our baby." Aaaaand that's pretty much all we get of them. Does that moment spell doom for Jin?
• Aww, Locke and Sawyer playing backgammon. Memories of Waaaaaalt. "I think they're saying 'baaaaa.'" Good one, Sawyer. Better than calling Miles "Bruce Lee." Your nicknames are getting lazy. "At least be woman enough to tell me you want to use me for something." Two points for honesty, but I liked this episode better when I thought Kate tricked Sawyer. Mostly because her hair looks awful and greasy and gross, and it distracts from Sawyer's attractiveness. Wait, why does her hair look great the morning after they have se- OH NO. OH NO, YOU DO NOT HIT SAWYER. MY HATE FOR YOU GROWS DAILY.
• Jesus. That grenade thing with Miles was sadistic. Guess LOCKE can be a bad man too... but his self-doubt is growing by the hour, and I'm afraid he's doing to do something awful before too long.
• Was Dan doing some sort of memory exercise? Maybe the rescue team knows something about the island's healing properties, and Dan couldn't even get ONE card out of three before. Or maybe he's just not all there. Where's the helicopter? Guess we'll find out next week.
• One closing thought: XANADU! ELO made it on the island! I love them! And they have Dharma boxed wine! Suddenly I think I wouldn't mind living in the Barracks myself!

Live Songs: What's Your Fave?

I had a good text talk today with Harris from Buffalo Grove, sparked when I mentioned that Spin Magazine once called Radiohead's OK Computer the best album of the past 20 years. We talked music for a while, and Harris asked me what my favorite live songs were - not tracks from a live album, but songs I'd seen performed live. After some careful thought, I've come up with the following three choices:

"Army" - Ben Folds: It is such a fun experience to "sing" the horn section from this song in three-part harmony with my friends, something I've been lucky enough to do several times. Ben gleefully leaps around the stage conducting the audience before heading back to his piano to finish the song off. My favorite time was at the Avalon in Boston on June 8th, 2002 - the same show that the picture on the cover of Ben Folds Live was taken.

"Idioteque" - Radiohead: This might be one of my favorite songs of all time. It's totally out of control live, made even crazier by Thom Yorke's spastic dancing. I have also been lucky enough to see this song more than once, but the best was at the Auditorium Theatre on 6/19/06, where I danced along with him like my life depended on it. That show blew my mind. When are they coming back???

"Aenema" - Tool: May 13th, 2006. This was another incredible Auditorium Theatre show - I think I was in the 8th row. Since it was the first time we'd all seen Tool in years, the anticipation was tangible. "Aenema" was the final song of Tool's set that night, as it's been many times, and I nearly broke my neck. Tool is one of my favorite bands to see live. Maynard is always quotable, and Danny Carey is just amazing.

What about you?

Beards: They're Back!

HUZZAH! I've been preaching that 2008 is the year of the beard ever since Letterman and Conan sported their strike beards. Heck, I've been on the Beard Bandwagon since Kyle Orton's neckbeard led the Bears to an eight game winning streak back in '05. Finally, it's starting to catch on. There's a "Beards Are Back" article in the Trib this morning. (The article credits George Clooney with the beard revival, but I say Kyle deserves credit too. Boiler up!) When grown and groomed properly, they are a majestic sight to behold. When grown and groomed PERFECTLY:

...they can lead few to a victory against many. Swoon.

Lost: The Economist

• The last two minutes of tonight's show mind-f*cked me big time. I'll deal with that later. But seriously. As Electra's Dad would say, that's a big old World Trade Federation.
• Hooray, a Sayid episode. He's such a badass. Calm, rational, always plotting - and he SURVIVED! Gosh, Future Sayid strikes fear into the hearts of men and lust in the loins of the ladies. Killin', flirtin', manipulatin'. Not sure I like slick 'n creepy Sayid - or how long the Elsa plotline seemed to last. I do not believe that Sayid really loved that woman. Although when she marked the restuarant on his map - that was pretty hot.
  
• "Tweezing your goatee?" "TUBBY?" Only Sawyer gives nicknames around here, Miles, and leave Pilot Wolf's facial hair alone. You're my least favorite newbie.
• Now, I AM a big fan of Dan: he's got gadgets and gizmos aplenty, and those gizmos bring... AN ANSWER. TIME MOVES DIFFERENTLY THERE. YES. THANK YOU. I expect that we'll hear more about this, and soon, please. Perhaps he'll use a whozit or a whatzit next time.
• Thanks for siding with me on the whole "Jack sucks as a leader" thing, Sayid. "The last time you encountered [Locke], you put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. That's not good diplomacy." Heh. Although, it's not like you did much better on your own... stuck in a makeshift jail with Benry, who dispenses pithy wisdom like: "I know it's no use having friends you can't trust." Trust... now that was a running theme in this one, huh? He's starting to look very puffy, that Benry. Like someone who's had too much plastic surgery. Constant ass-whuppings will do that to a guy.
• By the way, I totally bought that Hurley got abandoned. Despite this little scheme, I'm starting to catch a whiff of Hurley/Locke showdown - especially because of Hurley's knowledge of the cabin and its legs. What's that ashy trail it left on the ground? Or... has Good Old Smoky McMonster been lurking about, leaving behind soot instead of slime?
• Bad idea to send Kate along. She screws up rescue missions, guys. Remember that next time. Sawyer, please stop making jokes about playing house with her. She will only hurt you. Kate is a she-devil with approximately three facial expressions: "I'm confused," "I'm stubborn" and "I'm fixin' to sleep with you." No, I am not bitter because she looks hot when she's dirty, I swear.
• Benry has passports? For the future or from the past? I am not 100% on this, but it looked like the last name on the passport Sayid opened could have been "Moriarty." Hmm.
• Naomi's bracelet read: N. I'll always be with you, R.G." Who is R.G.? What compelled Sayid to take it from her cold, dead body - so he could give it to Elsa in the future and look all faux-heartbroken as he held HER cold, dead body?
• Oh yeah - why DID Naomi have that picture? With Desmond, Sayid, and her body heading to Not-Penny's-Boat, I'm hoping we find out soon.
• Who called that the mystery doc was Benry about 30 seconds before the reveal? THIS GIRL. Yet I still covered my mouth in shock as he and Sayid spoke. "Need I remind you what they did the last time you thought with your heart instead of your gun?" "You used her to recruit me into killing for you." "You want to protect your friends or not, Sayid?" Are they trying to kill people who don't believe that the Oceanic Air cover-up is true? I don't think Benry is one of the Six, because he wasn't on the plane in the first place. Did he get off the island secretly? Oh, and if Benry is doing any freaky experiments on those puppies, so help me, I'm... I'm... I don't know what I'm going to do, but it won't be nice.

Oh No! A Hoodie!

I do love me some hoodies. Paul found Monster Hoodies last week. Check them out:

That right, there is a shark hoodie nuzzling up to a black cat hoodie. There's also a dinosaur and a generic fanged monster. Pretty sweet... but for me, when it comes to monster hoodies, these two take the cake. Err, cookie.

Lost: Confirmed Dead

• Did anyone else notice the face of Jesus underwater? I think Find815.com will be very helpful in explaining the whole "hey look, a plane, oh wow, it's Flight 815" thing.
• I think fidgety physicist Dan is my favorite of everyone on the shady "rescue" team. Miles is the team's angry and unhinged Whoopi Goldberg, only without people around him having clay sex. Charlotte is the British anthropologist version of Miranda from Sex in the City. And Frank looks like out-of-shape/drunken pilot Wolf. Wait. Maybe HE's my favorite. AWOOOOOOOO!
• "Rescuing you and your people... can't really say it's our primary objective." What is? It wouldn't be Lost if they told us. Wait, wait a minute. You mean they tell us? Without making us wait half a season? Well I'll be.
• Oh good, Locke is once again communing with the island. So the team is making a detour towards the cabin (ix-nay on the ocation-lay, Hurley, or Locke will knife you too) because WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT said so? And Walt is taller. Of course. Good work, Lost writers. You sure did make me laugh out loud there.
• I love that we got an explanation of how Locke survived his gunshot. Answers rule. I can't believe we got two of them in an episode.
• Juliet looks bad. She could use a little Botox, a dye job and some aloe. Maybe Claire's invisible stylist can help!
• "Now if you're gonna sleep with my daughter, I insist you call me Ben." Awesome. I'm so glad that manipulative Benry is back. "It's only a matter of time until he gets us, Johnny." I think Sawyer is right on the money. And yet I was horrified at the thought of Ben getting killed. He's a bad man, but he's such a GOOD bad man.
• Jack winking was one of the most preposterous things I've ever seen. But hey, he had a plan: what's up, Sniperfriends? Kate wasn't expecting them, even though "I gave you that... wink." Maybe you ought to stick to verbal clues, Jack-ass.
• Dharma bears sure do get around. Where else have they been? I wonder how long that bear wandered the desert, trying desperately to find a button to push so he could get a fish.
• Not Oceanic Air Guy told Naomi repeatedly that "there are no survivors," yet clearly the team knew there were survivors. Was he just reiterating the company line, or did they have to trade info to figure that out? Oh, and I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of Naomi, thanks to the magic of flashback.
• When Charlotte was "running," I knew that it was really Vincent running at least 20 seconds before the reveal. I mean, he made an appearance in this particular episode for a reason. My guess is he'll be forgotten again until TALLLLWAAAAAALT shows up. (TAAAAALT?)
• "We're here for Benjamin Linus." So is this a Dharma-commissioned team that's trying to snag the man who killed their crew?
• Has anyone tried calling 888-548-0034?

Need a New Nickname?

Joey O, fellow Lost freak, sent me this Sawyer Nickname Generator today. You answer a few questions about yourself, and the island's scruffiest bad boy hooks you up with a new name. Mine is... Red Eye. It's perfect: my sensitive green eyes are frequently red - especially in drunken group photos - and I find Cillian Murphy, star of the film Red Eye, to be quite attractive! After determining my new identity, I decided to search the interweb for a complete list of Sawyer's nicknames... and look what I found. It's wonderful that there are other people who are crazier about this show than I am.

As an aside, tonight I spoke with my oldest and dearest friend, Nicky. She was once on an elevator with Josh Holloway, who plays Sawyer. I believe she swore in front of him. She told me tonight that she has also met Anthony Bourdain. I'm insanely jealous: that man is right up there with Hugh Laurie on my list of Older Men Who Are Intelligent, Talented and Hot!

Super Bowl Commercials And...

My five favorite commercials from the Super Bowl (in no particular order):

Budweiser: Clydesdale as Rocky = misty eyed Electra. I even thought the high-five was cute.

CareerBuilder.com: I knew that the Jiminy Cricket knock-off would meet an untimely and awesome end, and I was right.

Iron Man: Robert Downey Jr. is going to be sooooo fantastic in this movie. Can't wait.

Doritos: Seeing a grown man wearing a mouse suit bust through a wall and tackle another grown man wearing a regular suit caused me untold amounts of joy.

Bud Light: After seeing Will Ferrell as Jackie Moon attempting to endorse Bud Light, I said "mark it - that is the first time a Bud Light commercial has made me laugh out loud." I think "Bud Light: suck one" sealed it for me.

Honorable mentions: T-Mobile ("That's why I don't eat shrimp!"), Tide's talking stain, and Toyota's vicious killer badgers.


My five least favorite:

Planters: I will never use your product as perfume, thank you. Bacon perfume might be a different story.

Geico: The time to make a self-referential joke about the Cavemen show passed looooong ago.

Bud Light: I literally groaned when I realized that Carlos Mencia and his pals were back. Nothing against him; I just would have liked something more original for the Super Bowl.

GoDaddy.com: Only because my brother went to see what Danica Patrick "exposed" online, and he said it was lame.

Dell: I acknowledge that Red is a fine idea for a good cause, but... dude. You got a Dell.


You can watch most of this year's commercials online here: thanks Trib! And for the record, I am disappointed about the outcome of the game... but not with the season. I had a blast watching some great football with some of my favorite people. I even got to see the last Pats/Colts game at the RCA Dome - probably the best sporting event I've ever attended. The past five months have been a wonderful and unexpected ride. And now... how many days until pitchers and catchers? :)

Your Eyes Are the Size of the Moon

At the moment, I can't stop listening to the new Panic at the Disco song, "Nine in the Afternoon." There's something really fun and happy about it. Since I'm pretty happy with life at the moment - more so than I've been in a good while - it's perfect timing. Plus, the beginning of the song reminds me of "Mr. Blue Sky" by E.L.O., and if there's any non-Q101.1-friendly band I love, it's E.L.O.! Go on, take a listen!