Lost: The Beginning of the End

Finally. :)

• Great. A night I've waited over eight months for, and it's being interrupted by a map, a ticker, and annoying beeping sounds? I hate you, winter storm warning. I hate you with a passion that burns brighter than the crazy blue flames in Benry's bug eyes, set in such fine contrast against all that drying blood. God, it's good to be recapping again.
• Nice to see that Jack is growing into his old man's drinkin' problem. He sucks at basketball. He sucks at leading. I hate him, even if he is going to grow a beard. (Especially because we saw it last year, and it looks almost as bad as the horrible wig he wore in his flashbacks.)
• That Ana Lucia shout out was totally unnecessary. I mean, it wasn't Paolo and Nikki unnecessary, but it was close.
• Oh Future Hurley. You're going crazy again. Was that supposed to be hoodie-wearing Chahlie swimming during the holding cell scene? Speaking of: who almost cried when Hurley told Claire that Chahlie was dead? Who almost lost their sh*t when he showed up during fun with watercolors time? And who thought that "no need to freak out? I'm trying to buy some jerky and a slushy, and you're standing there by the Ho-Hos" was the best line ever? Was Future Chahlie a vision? A ghost with a heavy slapping hand? More evidence that Hurley should stay on the meds? "They need you," he said. Is that the same "they" that the creepy Not-Oceanic-Air-Guy asked Hurley about?
• Did Kate do anything in the first half hour other than run back and forth and be stupid and annoying? Well, I guess she cleverly took the satellite phone out of worst-leader-ever's pocket. And then she went right back to being stupid and annoying. I am constantly afraid of the doe-eyed looks she gives Jack, like she's seconds away from mounting him. And no one want to see that.
• So can Hurley hear and see Jacob too? Or is that all part of his crazy? I'm thinking that the first encounter with the cabin was real. Who was the other person with Jacob? As for the second encounter: maybe the island senses the instability of Hurley's mind and is messing with him. Or Jacob, still looking for help, is using the island's power to communicate with him telepathically. Or the cabin has legs.
• Holy sh*t. Jack meant it when he said he was going to kill Locke! That f*cker! So what if Locke is insane? He's awesome when he's insane. Although I would have preferred it if he told the assembled crowd: "come with me if you want to live." And the battle lines between science and faith are drawn yet again... with a little emotional boost from Hurley. Yet Future Hurley seems to regret that decision. I'm so confused. Especially since at exactly 8:46, Locke mentioned that the hobbit might have died for nothing. Wonder how many more times THAT's going to pop up.
• That future exchange with Hurley and Jack was pretty unnerving. "Checking to see if I was gonna tell?" WHAT THE F*CK DOES THAT MEEEEEEAN? "I don't think we did the right thing Jack. I think it wants us to come back. And it's going to do everything it can..." He must mean the island, right? "Never say never, dude." Cue Romeo Void! And cue a week of obsessing and wondering and waiting. Welcome back, Lost.
  
• And oh yeah... so who are the other members of the Oceanic Six??? (Thanks Tony.)
  

Cheeseburger, Meet Can

Look at this delicious, juicy cheeseburger:


Tasty, right? Now imagine that cheeseburger condensed into an aluminum can for your convenient eating enjoyment. Well... IMAGINE NO MORE! Someone has put a cheeseburger in a can. Would-be inventors, you might as well hang it up. There will never again be such an innovation as this. Someone lock up www.icanhascheezburgerincan.com before it's gone.

Thanks, Jesse.

I Am/Am Not

• I AM very excited about Lost coming back this week. My post-Lost blogs will (hopefully) be bigger and better than ever!
  
• I AM hoping to make this soup on Lost night in my beautiful new food processor. I will probably think fondly of You Can't Do That On Television while I cook.
  
• I AM a fan of the Container Store, Evil Cabernet Sauvignon, girls' lunches, shopbop.com, and fuzzy slippers.
  
• I AM NOT a fan of substituting leggings for pants. Just because Lindsay Lohan does it does not make it fashionable. Geez.
• I AM pleased with the new arrangement of my bedroom. It took more than 2 hours to move furniture, books and my (soon-to-be-replaced) bed. Thankfully, my efforts distracted me from my extraordinarily gregarious neighbors. 2pm on Sunday is the new 10pm on Saturday, I guess. Pass it on.
• I AM quoted in this article about the influence of Guitar Hero. In the two weeks between talking to Erika and the publication of the article, I've managed to complete Guitar Hero 3... on easy. Heh.
• I AM NOT going to get sick again, despite the fluctuating temps and messy weather headed our way. I'm just not. That's all there is to it.
  

Heath Ledger

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/22/actor-heath-ledger-is-found-dead/

I heard Sherman and Tingle report this a little while ago. I don't even know what to say. I, like so many people, thought he was amazing in Brokeback Mountain. Friends of mine in Brooklyn spotted him out and about a handful of times, just being a normal New Yorker. He was so young, and so talented - and he leaves behind a 2 year-old daughter, who will now never know her father. I'd been so excited to see him be the Joker, and as I just discussed with my friend Joey, it's going to be tremendously hard to see his face in The Dark Knight. What a horrible loss of a life filled with potential. Sad, sad, sad.

Cloverfield: A Brief and Cryptic Review

I braved the cold tonight to see Cloverfield at the AMC River East. My gut reaction: it's one of the most creatively filmed movies I've seen in a long time, and it's definitely the best monster movie I've ever seen. The way the film was shot made the experience more tangible, like the viewers were really part of the panic and pandemonium in the streets of New York. Just awesome. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I'm going to offer a few post-screening comments:

• There was at least one scene that might give me nightmares.
• There were at least four moments where I laughed out loud.
• There was at one moment where I, and others in the theatre, addressed the foolish pretty people out loud.
• There was one scene where I rolled my eyes.
• There were multiple shots of the monster.
• There were at least three places where the film could have ended, but the way it ultimately ended worked.
• No seriously, I don't think I can go to bed yet, because I'm afraid.

I didn't immerse myself in the online Cloverfield world before I saw the movie. I knew about it, like the good little Lost/J.J. Abrams fan I am, but I wanted to go in with no expectations whatsoever. I think that approach worked for me. If you want to dive into the internet abyss, either before or after you see it (I've been reading for the past hour), here's your diving board.

Addendum, 012208: Look what Dan from Bloomingdale found... A DHARMA LOGO at the beginning of the movie! Ooooooooooh.

Goodbye, Outside World.

Free time? Not anymore. I bought Guitar Hero III today. I've never owned a Guitar Hero game before. In fact, the first time I played it, I nearly broke my brother's wireless guitar in disgust. But things change. Thanks to Paul and his XBox 360, I've been bitten by the strumming bug. Now I own not only the game but also TWO wireless guitars. My fingers are already angry at me. I'm obviously a novice, but I'm insisting on playing medium because I'm stubborn. I will NOT, however, be buying this:


Not yet, anyway. (Found thanks to The Tripwire)

Be More Like Dave Grohl

Dave Grohl might be the coolest frontman in rock. He's got amazing facial hair: I'm high on beards in '08, and Dave grows one with the best of them. There's his LEGENDARY cover of "Tiny Dancer," which cracks me up every time. I love that he doesn't have a gimmick or a pretentious attitude. He's just himself. And if you follow Dave Grohl's Principles of a Happy, Successful Life, you TOO can be that cool! My favorite tip is #5: "Try to be in two incredibly successful bands. If not, that's okay." Awesome. I haven't seen the Foo Fighters since college, so I'm excited for the show at the Allstate next month. I might have to find myself a Mr. Bubble shirt before then. Thanks to Jennifer from Oak Lawn for sending the link along!

American Gladiators: WOW

I can't remember the last time I had as much fun watching TV as I just did watching American Gladiators. So many Saturday mornings of my young life were spent watching the original, and the revival is just as awesomely cheesy and campy as it should be. I love how hard the new Eliminator is. I love Wolf's howl; I actually found myself yelling "Ah-WOOOOOOO" at my television. (Perhaps I should not have admitted that.) I love cheering when the gladiators embarrass an overly cocky contender. And I love that I spent a good chunk of time figuring out the rules for the perfect AG drinking game. We thought about taking a drink whenever Hulk said "brother," but man, that would get you MESSED UP. Of course, as my buddy Mr. W. pointed out, the show is normally going to air on Monday nights, which puts a damper on drinking and watching, but that's what they make TiVo for. Did you watch?

Time to Get Lost Again

Lost comes back on January 31st. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I saw one of the promos on ABC last week. My heart literally started racing. Electra's dad reminded me about the Missing Pieces, the "mobisodes" showing conversations we didn't see on the show. Plenty of good stuff there.

Then this morning, the inimitable Joey O sent me a link to the latest Lost-related website: Find 815. You can follow the progress of a devastated and scruffy Australian as he tries to find his lost love, who vanished on Flight 815. There are e-mails to read, websites to explore, and clues to find. Looks like there will be new "chapters" every couple of days. I'm totally sucked back in.

P.S. - The new American Gladiators premieres tomorrow. I haven't been watching much TV other than football lately, but I'm sure AG and Lost will make me a happy panda.

P.P.S. - A Q listener turned me on to the magical taste treat that is Peanut Butter Crunch + Chocolate Silk soymilk. Oh my god. It's like eating a Reese's for breakfast, except that it's guilt-free! Huzzah!

Addendum: Because a health-conscious commenter decided to rain on my peanut-buttery/chocolatey parade, I give you the following facts about said parade:

1 serving of Peanut Butter Crunch with 1 serving of Chocolate Soy Milk:

255 Calories
29 grams of sugar
38 grams of carbohydrates
9% of daily fat
10% saturated fat
55 calories from fat
7 grams of protein
3 grams of dietary fiber

1 package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups:

260 Calories
25 grams of sugar
29 grams of carbohydrates
23% of daily fat
30% of daily saturated fat
130 Calories from fat
6 grams of protein
2 grams of dietary fiber

Maybe This Year Will Be Better Than the Last

The one word that sums up my 2007: rollercoaster. If I had to pick another: change. Maybe I could combine the two words and make "Change Rollercoaster," a song performed by an all-star group including members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Deftones and featured on the soundtrack to Beavis and Butthead 2: The Legend of Cornholio. I know many of my friends, co-workers and loved ones had equally tumultous years (although I don't think any of them lost sleep and sanity over being yelled at by Jack White), so here's to a better, calmer, happier 2008.
And before we put the year to rest, here's a list of the top nude scenes of the year for you, just because I care.