Lost: Cabin Fever

• We start with "Emily," a car, and a pregnancy. "NAME HIM JOHN!" AAAAAGH! IT'S BABY LOCKE! "He is a fighter, your little John... a miracle baby." And someone has noticed this miracle: the ageless Richard. He's acting as the island's Professer Xavier, and he's brought a magazine, a knife, sand, a compass, a book and a baseball glove. Why does John choose the knife? And why is that wrong? Teenage John is kind of cute - and look, a Geronimo Jackson album in his locker! Mittelos Laboratories, new home of ageless Richard, thinks maybe John is ready now. So John was meant to be a scientist and fights his path? Ah yes, "don't tell me what i can't do." We've heard this once or twice before. Cool to learn how Locke gets the idea to go on a walkabout - from creepy Not Oceanic Air Guy! What kind of favor will Locke owe him?
• Poor Hurley. Stuck "here in the dark with the monster and... him." Alone in the jungle with two old crazy dudes on a cabin hunt - and Horace, a dead Dharma dude with an ax! "We been waiting for you a real long time, man." To find Horace, Locke and Hurley must return to the Dharma grave, where Locke says "he did it." He sure did. It's so eerie to remember that Ben is a mass murderer. It's even eerier how he recalls his attempt to kill John so nonchalantly, even though he KNEW it was pointless to try to kill him. He sure did kill Horace, though. Poor fella's stuck in a loop. What will it take to make him a mathematician... unstuck... in time?
• "I used to have dreams:" Ben grudgingly acknowledges that Locke is taking his place, and that Locke might have powers comparable to (but not better than) his own. Naturally, he starts playing his own mind games out of jealousy. "Destiny, John, is a fickle bitch." So Destiny's Child (sorry) goes solo into the cabin... where Jack's dad is speaking on behalf of Jacob, and Claire is being all smug and creepy. God, that's the first time I've found her interesting in years. "I'm here because I was chosen to be here," says John, and then he asks "how do I save the island?" Oh my god, are we going to get an answer? "He wants us to move the island." Is it going to end up in Tunisia?
• The helicopter makes it back to the freighter, and Crazy Army Guy is out for Michael's blood; he sure does seem upset that old Smoky chewed up some of his men. Apparently that whole Island protection thing is still in effect, though, and Michael survives his attack. CAG then finds a protocol, complete with Dharma logo, that claims to know what Ben is doing next. Is this protocol... a script? Perhaps this has happened before, and now the rules have changed, and there's a NEW script? Meanwhile, Sayid is pulling a rescue mission in a tiny little raft. Good lord, I hope he doesn't get lost. (GET IT LOST HAHAHA.) CAG locks and loads and kills some good men, and it is starting to look like our island friends are in grave jeopardy. (Also, oh, so THAT'S how the doctor's body ends up on the island... crazy time difference shenanigans.)
• I thought we'd be free of Jack tonight, but it seems like the helicopter travels pretty quickly. Wolf has a plan, and it involves a flying backpack and a satellite phone. Jack says that they need to Follow That Bird, and off they go. That was quick and painless!
  
• Hurley and Ben sharing a candy bar was teh awesomes. Maybe being in the dark jungle with Ben isn't so bad after all! ...yeah, you're right, it probably is.