Break Time

a) Last night was girls' night, and we went to see Tristram Shandy: A Cock & Bull Story. It was extremely funny, if very dry and British. It's a movie about the making of a movie that's adapting a book that's "unfilmable." The opening scene involves the exact shade of an actor's teeth. The closing scene involves that same actor engaging his "co-featured lead" in a battle of Al Pacino impressions. In between those two scenes, Steve Coogan puts a hot chestnut down his pants. It's hilarious. There's no way I can do it justice with words. You should just go see it.

b) I'm leaving tomorrow to go on vacation! Alan and I are hitting San Francisco to see some friends, and then hitting LAS VEGAS! I've never been, and the trip is long overdue. So... I'll be back on March 5th. Blog's on break until then. Have a great week...

Gallup Says No One Is Reading This

The hippest thing on the internet right now: dissing blogs. You see, once people realized that they could articulate their thoughts into words, and then put those words on a webpage that others could see... the blog was born - circa 1997, according to (what else) the internet. Soon there were millions of blogs, covering thousands of topics, written by people all over the world. But then, in early February of 2006, Gallup released a poll that says people don't like to read blogs as much as they like to check their e-mail and the weather. Specifically: "Thirteen percent of Internet users rarely bother, and 66 percent never read blogs." This poll spawned a flurry of articles declaring the saturation point of blogs to have come and gone, and the death of blogs to be nigh.

I've linked to them before, but the truth is: I hate polls and surveys. They're highly inaccurate, no matter what "margin of error" bullshit accompanies them. Many people my age are savvy to marketing schemes, aware of when they're being marketed to, and too busy to take dumb waste-of-time surveys. I'd also argue (while wholly void of scientific evidence) that while the audience for blogs may be small, the people who read blogs regularly are not an insignificant portion of the population. We are smart. We are well-read. We challenge what the media spoon-feeds us and we're not afraid to make our opinions known. To discount the value of blogs because they have become common is to say: "your voice is not needed. People would rather watch American Idol and talk about Nick and Jessica's divorce. Stop wasting your time."

Maybe it's the margaritas talking, but I think it's bullshit. Sometimes the percentage of people isn't nearly as important as the qualities and characteristics of those people. If I'm in the minority by reading blogs and caring about what my peers have to say, then I'm proud to be there. Who wants to follow the rest of the sheep, anyway?

No, YOU Shut It Up!

Happy Presidents' Day! I plan to celebrate by making finger puppets out of dollar bills and enacting a play I call "The Many Faces of George." Sure, our first president's facial expression will remain the same no matter which character is speaking, but audiences everywhere are going to fall in love with Happy George, Sad George, Aloof and Distant But Still Lovable George, and more. (By everywhere, I mean in the Q101 studios, which are currently empty.)

I posted this link in the comments of my post about Ozzie, but since it seems to have vanished from the front page of the Dugout (and it's not currently found in the archives... do I smell a conspiracy?), I'm re-posting it here. It's a pretty funny "conversation" between George Steinbrenner and our own Outspoken Ozzie Guillen, based on the Boss's reaction to Ozzie's pointed comments about A-Rod and the consequent backpedaling. Shut it up, indeed.

Update: 2/23/06 No conspiracy... link is up on the front page! (I knew the Dugout guys were too smart to be swayed by the Boss...)

Ozzie: "Saying Sorry"

I'm really disappointed in Ozzie Guillen. The outspoken (to say the least) manager of the WORLD CHAMPION WHITE SOX hilariously went off on a bunch of people in the latest issue of Sports Illustrated, including, but not limited to: Bill Gates, the president of Venezuela, and Alex Rodriguez. Ozzie's rant about A-Rod had to do with his behavior regarding which team he might play for in the World Baseball Classic (which is becoming more of an embarrassment by the second, but that's a whole other can of snark):

"Alex was kissing Latino people's asses. He knew he wasn't going to play for the Dominicans; he's not a Dominican! I hate hypocrites. He's full of shit."

I f*cking love it. A-Rod is one of my least favorite athletes, and not just because he likes to slap lanky pitchers to avoid being tagged in crucial playoff games. He's a whiny, overpaid punk who, while talented, is way too concerned about his public image - a prime example being his "will I or won't I" act with the Dominican Republic and the United States. He doesn't want either one to be mad, so he's been sitting on the fence. Sitting on the fence is only good for getting a stake up your ass. But I digress. My disappointment with Ozzie comes not from the remark, but from THIS APOLOGY he offered to A-Rod last night, which reads in part:

"I'm going to have to apologize to Alex Rodriguez, his family, his fans, the New York Yankees organization and the White Sox organization because it's the first time I feel like I have done something wrong. ... Alex Rodriguez is not a hypocrite. ... I said the wrong thing about the wrong guy."

Um, what? Ozzie has no issue taking swings at one of the world's wealthiest and most powerful geeks or the man who leads a country of 25 million people, but A-ROD gets a long-winded apology?!? This sounds fishy. Maybe Alex sweetly asked Cap'n Jetes pay a visit to Ozzie and make the mea culpa happen. Maybe Jason Giambi came along to provide some juice... err, muscle. Whatever happened, it doesn't seem like Ozzie to be so contrite about speaking his mind.

As an aside, the real victim here is Nomar "Baseball's Most Talked-About Groin" Garciaparra, who was slammed in the same breath as Alex ("It's the same with Garciaparra playing for Mexico. Garciaparra only knows Cancun because he went to visit.") but gets no such apology. In fact, Ozzie had this to say last night: "I thought that one was funny. It's true, though." There's the Ozzie we know. Betcha he would have said sorry if Nomar had never played for the North Side... yeah, probably not.

Scott Stapp Killed My Appetite

Well, this is juuuuust great. It's been a brutally stormy day in Chicago, with a tornado watch in one of the southern counties besides. All I wanted to do was come home, curl up on the couch with some tea and a few Double Stuf Peanut Butter Creme Oreos (the most delightful cookie I've ever tasted, and on sale for $1.88 at Jewel), and catch up on the day's snarky blogging. Now, thanks to Best Week Ever, I know that Scott Stapp and Kid Rock have a sex tape coming out. One sex tape. Singular. In which they are both involved - not with each other, mind you. Just filming one another with some "fans." There is a preview. I watched it. I am no longer hungry for Oreos. Or life. Dammit, BWE.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure that noise you just heard was Scott Stapp hitting rock-bottom. He was arrested the day after his own wedding, and now this? Hopefully he'll be slinking out of the public eye any second now.

How About a Nice Game of Lost?

Some horrific things have happened on Lost. Murder, (sort of) incest, Michael screaming "WAAAAAAALT" at a pitch that I'm certain has done irreparable damage to my kidneys. Tonight was the first time Lost really upset me. My heart fell into my stomach near the end of the episode. I witnessed shocking, unforgivable cruelty. The incident in question: the death of the tree frog. (What, you thought it would be the bloody torture of Henry Gale? Nah. Sayid's gotta do what Sayid's gotta do.) I like Bad-Boy Sawyer. I like leering, lecherous, awful nickname-giving Sawyer. But a Sawyer who crushes a poor little froggie - especially after Hurley gave his nostalgic, pitiable, "let's find him a Mrs. Tree Frog" speech? Well, that I just can't handle.

I didn't love the episode. It feels like the wheels keep spinning in Season 2, and I want more answers. Bonus points for creepy red and black hieroglyphics, though. Anyone else get a Joshua from WarGames-esque "he's got the codes, he's going to launch" feeling there?

It's Official!!!

After two weeks of speculation that Lollapalooza might be making a triumphant return to Chicago this summer... the word is officially out. Lollapalooza will come back to Grant Park for not two, but THREE days: August 4-6. Three days means an estimated 130 bands spanning eight stages, spread out over both Hutchinson and Butler Fields. Oh, how giddy this news makes me - except for the August part, which makes it even more likely that the temps will be as scorchingly uncomfortable as last year. Thankfully I still have my cowboy hat to help protect my pale skin from the blazing sun.

Naturally, the Smashing Pumpkins are one of the rumored headliners, but so are the Flaming Lips - and they're always a blast at festivals. There won't be ticket info or an official line-up until mid-March, so... it's WILD AND CRAZY SPECULATION TIME! I'm hoping for Muse, since they have a new record coming out in May and haven't been announced on any other festival bills yet. The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lollapalooza alums, are planning their world tour and have laid out European dates for June and July; they could be available in early August. Anybody else feel like engaging in some WILD AND CRAZY SPECULATION?

The Electra News Brief: 2/13/06

There's too much ridiculous crap in the news to limit this entry to just one story, so I give you... the Electra News Brief:

• The White House is coming under fire for not disclosing the details of Vice President Dick Cheney's ill-fated weekend hunting trip sooner. Part of the delay is due to a slight misunderstanding by President Bush, who exclaimed earlier today, "quail hunt? Ohhhhh, gosh, now I understand what happened. I thought it was a Quayle hunt!"
  
• The remaining three inmates who escaped from Cook County Jail over the weekend were taken into custody early Monday after an hours-long standoff with police. This news event has been made possible by Fox, who reminds you that Prison Break returns in March.
  
• After several well-publicized incidents involving drunkenness, Scott Stapp was arrested on suspicion of public intoxication Saturday at LAX. The arrest took place minutes before he was about to board a plane bound for Hawaii to honeymoon with his new wife, who has clearly never read a magazine, watched television, or met Scott Stapp.

Living in a Geek(ster)'s Paradise

My new favorite blog of the moment is ForeverGeek.com. Not just because of the name - though it's followed by "Nerds are for Dorks" and I find that adorable. It's not just entertaining, it's damned (dadgum?) helpful. Here's their mission statement:

There are just so many sites out there that get overlooked that many geeks may find useful. Forever Geek was created to provide geeks with interesting links that most sites would overlook through an interface that cuts to the chase without being too distracting.

It's a cleanly designed site with incredibly hot content - hot for geeks, naturally. Current topics include a forthcoming version of the Video iPod with a TOUCH SCREEN instead of a click wheel (I almost wet myself when I read that), a spiffy new vertical mouse, and the new GMail Chat, which my account has already! Basically, you can IM with your e-mail contacts while you're logged into your GMail account without having to launch a separate application. I already had my first chat yesterday (with the one and only Zack from Otispunk), and it was just delightful. Now I just need more geeky types to chat with... If any of these things appeal to you, or you like comics, video games and gadgets, you'll like ForeverGeek.com. Oh - and I like you. Geeks are my favorite kind of people. :)

(Picture thanks to thinkgeek.com - click and go buy things!)

Boo-Boo Lives!

With all the bad press for poultry these days (the first case of bird flu in Africa was announced today... it's creeping westward...), it's nice to read a happy story about our avian friends. I mean, most normal people would be afraid to lock lips... beaks... mouths, whatever, with a chicken. Most people aren't Marian Morris, who gladly administered mouth-to-mouth to her brother's pet chicken after it fell in the family pond. Poor Boo-Boo is a skittish bird, and likely landed in the pond after a scare, perhaps from a neighborhood dog, or a guy down the street bumpin' Korn a little too loudly. My favorite part of this article: Marian's use of the word "dadgum." That is phenomenal. I'd say I'll try to use it on the air, but that's probably dadgum near impossible.

Art for Love, Love for Art

I could do without the cutesy title but the content is good: the Art Institute on Michigan Avenue has organized a Valentine's Day-themed mini-tour you can take during the month of February. It's not all star-crossed lovers or post-coitus poses, either: there's some hot paintings of a naughty Cupid getting whipped! "You can enjoy the fact that all love stories don't end happily," says the museum's director of adult programs, Jeffrey Nigro. It's that sort of attention to the not-so-hot side of love that makes me applaud the Art Institute - and the guy who gets to constantly sidestep jokes about what kind of "adult programs" he deals with at work all day.

I am a notorious anti-Valentine's Day advocate. As a younger Electra, I even wrote a column about the dangers of the holiday in my college's weekly arts paper. (Sample phrase: "an over-commercialized, over-signified mess.") I mentioned this to a co-worker today, and he determined that I must have had my heart broken on some Valentine's Day in the past. Nope. And I'm in a healthy relationship, so it's not about bitterness. I just think it's dumb to have a "holiday" where couples stress out about making grandiose gestures of affection when the purest acts of love are impulsive and selfless. It's also unfair to make single people witness these emotional cartwheels when all they want to do is have a nice dinner on a February night in Chicago. I know I'm not the first person to express disdain for Valentine's Day, or in the only couple who'll likely treat it like just another Tuesday. But I'm probably the only one who's ever written the words "so your roommate can boink with impunity" in a column about it.

The News You Need to Know

Today CNN.com posted an article on their front page about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. This is not much different from any other media outlet looking to tap into the things the kids like. After all, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are attractive people who are attracted to each other and we, as a species, MUST! KNOW! WHY! What brought them together? What keeps them together? Oh, how my black heart goes pitter-patter at every magazine cover I see with their beautiful faces all large and glossy, promising me new insight to the ins and outs of such a miraculous pairing! Hang on, I have to wipe the sarcasm off my keyboard, it's dripping.

So back to the CNN.com article. It's called "The lunacy of Brangelina." Some reporter took an intrepid journey into the minds of the REPORTERS who write articles about Brad and Angelina and WROTE AN ARTICLE ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF ARTICLES. Apparently the national fascination with celebrity romance has reached a frenzied apex not seen since the days of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. What the hell has happened to journalism? But don't worry, there's nothing else going on that you should be worrying about.

Hey, this is my 100th post! I should get myself a cake or something. Or, even better, some Cold Stone! Mmm.

A Pain That I'm Used To

I saw Brokeback Mountain last night. It was quiet and subtle, loud and angry, ugly and beautiful all at the same time. There was an ache in my chest during certain scenes. It hurt to watch. It wasn't just a movie about two men in love with each other, although that's obviously part of it. It was about the pain of wanting something, badly, that you can't have - and the joy that comes from brief moments of having it, of tasting a life you could have had if you'd made different choices. I don't think I can watch it again, but I know it will haunt me for a while. Everyone has regrets. Not everyone can make a poignant, beautiful film about them.

Sorry if I seem overdramatic. A friend lost his job today. He's a smart, talented guy, someone who I could see becoming a great friend, and now he's directionless, and it sucks. I work in a fun, rewarding, but terribly harsh business. This just reminds me that my happiness and security are fragile. I didn't need more reminders of that.

Another Lawsuit-Happy Jackass

Oh my GOD. The stupidity of people never ends. Some guy is suing Apple because he claims iPods cause hearing loss. Douchebag McDummy doesn't even specify whether or not he has suffered hearing loss because of an iPod - he just calls the iPods "defective" and says Apple hasn't done a good enough job of warning people that LOUD MUSIC MIGHT HURT YOUR EARS. I don't think it's Apple's responsibility to repeatedly spell out something that common sense should dictate. Does Steve Jobs have to wipe this guy's ass too? Or cut his vegetables into itty-bitty-wittle pieces and feed him because without guidance, he might choke on a carrot or shove green beans into his ear? Even more upsetting: D. McDummy wants to make this a class-action lawsuit, and if that happens, who knows how many people will forsake the good name of Apple to effortlessly earn a little spending money. If this man doesn't understand the concept of volume, he should be forced to live his life in silence. In a cave. With mute hungry bears. And pork chops glued to his limbs. I'm done now.

Best. Festival. Ever. (One Girl's Opinion)

So here's a statement I never thought I'd be making: I have been freaking out all day over the Bonnaroo lineup. It's always been an earthy-crunchy festival, and I don't normally gravitate towards earthy-crunchy - unless you count my boyfriend. There are exceptions to every rule. But this lineup... it seems made for me. And it only takes two artists to make it so.

1) Ben Folds

2) Radiohead

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Ben Folds is the reason why I'm in radio. I woke up one morning when I was 15 and heard "Best Imitation of Myself" on my clock radio and thought, "this is the greatest and best radio station in the world." And then I ended up working at that station for four years in college, and then... here I am today at Q101. I've seen Ben Folds with and without the Five approximately a zillion times - once in the front row, crammed up against the barrier at Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel and staring at his black and white striped socks. When you call my cell phone and I don't answer... you hear Ben Folds, a fantastic and underappreciated singer-songwriter-Baldwin virtuoso. (Not the brothers, the piano.)

And then there's Radiohead... I didn't fully appreciate them until college, but once I entered the Radiohead world, I became obsessed. There's a Radiohead backstage pass from a 2001 show glued to the side of my CD shelves. My collection of concert paraphernalia includes a laminate for their MTV $2 Bill show at the Beacon Theatre in NYC. I've even traveled to other countries to see Radiohead. Granted, it was just Canada, but it was an epic trip nonetheless. I think they're brilliant, dark and sexy, and truly alternative.

So put my favorite solo artist and my favorite band TOGETHER, and then add Beck, Death Cab for Cutie, Bright Eyes, My Morning Jacket (one of the best live bands I've ever seen), Medeski, Martin & Wood, Atmosphere (thanks for introducing me, Steve), the Dresden Dolls, G. Love, Tom Petty (seen him three times with my dad), and about a zillion others, and you have Bonnaroo. And a deliriously excited Electra. Who wants to go to Tennessee in June?

(And don't even get me started on Coachella and Tool's first show in the States in four years and how I probably can't go because they'll be headlining on Sunday and I won't get back in time for my show and ohmygod what if Radiohead is headlining Sunday of Bonnaroo I probably shouldn't think about it too much right now okaybye.)